Full of emotion

So I feel so so dumb, I married a narcissist 3 years ago. I didn’t know what was going on. And now it’s like the curtain has risen and I see it all, when I had my youngest (9 months) I had gotten PPD; and I was referred to a psychiatrist. When I told him I was going to go, he said “well your probably going to leave me when you get better.” My last appointment my psychiatrist pointed out the cycle of narcissistic abuse. When I read it i saw that most of the things listed he has said or done.

I’m ready to leave... but I am no where near the place I need to be. I have 2 young children, and I have to make sure they are secure. I don’t want to take the kids from him, because I know he loves them.. but I can’t leave my kids either..