WARNING TOUCH POST !

First I really want to ask for no side eyes before proceeding.

Well I have a family member who has groomed me for years

He’s almost 12 years older than I’m now 20, when I was 15 we have our first sexual encounter at the time I did not know we were related as our family does not speak about him, well a few months after he disclosed that he’s watched me grow up and always thought I was beautiful (we’d been talking since I was 12) and has always told me since what we we’re doing was not wrong, like I said earlier I’m now 20 & we’ve been sleeping together for years. Finally I told my mom and she literally did nothing but hold me after she finished crying she said you’ve been groomed & I’ve heard the word before but it’s always been attached to pedophiles and he’s never came off as that, he was always been gentle & let me know how much he loves me and that if I loved him no one opinion should matter. My mom believes I should I cut contact and check into out patient care. At the time she could not find the word for people that have been abused and fall in love with their abusers. It’s been almost a week and he’s done nothing but call and text from random numbers, I’ve sunk into a deep depression I haven’t left my house for days. I feel so dirty, stupid & vulnerable I honestly don’t think I could live my any further. I need help