Thoughts….

This is nine months;

and I didn’t come here to be cute.

I would love to have posted a more group worthy photo saying that I feel beautiful and bouncy with life but, that is not my reality.

Today I am tired.

Today I am irritable.

Today I am unmotivated.

Quite frankly today I am over being pregnant.

My reality is I miss my body. I can’t stand the way my face has swollen and my nose has spread. That every time I walk around for a bit to long my lower back aches and I’m winded. That I can no longer see my feet among OTHER things and that the porcelain throne has now become a home within my home.

As I said: this is Nine Months - 37weeks to be exact.

This is not to say that I am not grateful to be blessed with a womb that creates life. That every kick and squirm that my baby makes doesn’t make me burst into an instant smile. These are my emotions, raw emotions, that a lot of mothers feel but, think they are to wrong to be expressed.

This whole pregnancy has been a balancing act of pure gratitude versus a strong desire for it to be over.

No cap.

I battled with this but, in all honesty it is OKAY to feel this way.

Feeling like this doesn’t make you any less grateful for the capability of pregnancy or mean that you love your child any less.

Feeling like this makes you human.

We are taught to embrace the beauty of pregnancy and not speak about the lows. I’ve joined groups and blogs of woman who feel awful about not enjoying pregnancy because there’s always someone, somewhere, to remind them of their luck and how they shouldn’t take the ability to get pregnant for granted.

Completely dismissing the fact that low self confidence, anxiety, and depression do not go away just because you are pregnant. If anything they are hormonally intensified.

So the next time your pregnant friend complains - just do her the favor of listening. That’s all she needs.