So I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years, and he is living here in the US alone and his parents and two sisters are in another country. Recently we’ve been talking about moving out and getting married and making plans of that sort. But he recently got a call from his sister that she wants to come live with him to go to college. He currently lives with other family members and pays rent.

He told me about this and I’m not sure how I feel. He says he knows I didn’t sign up for this because eventually his other sister and parents would come as well. And he said now he doesn’t know what our plans are and he doesn’t know if he can get married any time soon with all of this being placed on him. And he said he’d rather live with his sister than me and he says he’s sorry but he doesn’t want me to move out of my parents house if I’m going to be uncomfortable.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t like the idea of living with his sister and trying to figure out our relationship and how we’re moving forward. And he’s going to have to pay for everything of hers because she has zero money. I’m trying so hard to be a bigger person, and not be selfish. But when will our lives together begin. He’s going to have all the responsibility of being his sisters guardian. I feel like I’m being pushed back and I don’t want to be boyfriend and girlfriend for 10 years and now since she’s coming everything is getting messed up. He’s stressing out and I’m stressing out. And I’m trying to be supportive, I haven’t said much.

Also if we move out together I feel like I won’t be comfortable with his sister there living with us. What if I want to do something crazy I can’t! I’ve only met her once and it was very minimal conversation. Also if his parents come later on I don’t know them, I’ve never met them. I just know I wouldn’t be comfortable living there. I don’t want to break up with him but I’m freaking out about the aspect of living with his family I’ve never met. And It’s inevitable because his sister is coming and his parents are coming and I don’t know what to do or what to say.

He says he knows that if I wanted to move out of my parents house it would just be him and I but that’s not the case. I really need some advice or anything. Thanks.