This girl is so fucking lucky.. sooooo lucky because I JUST got done going through an intense CPR training. I have to take them every year because of my job. This time around the instructor was crazy and he was telling us things I’ve never learned before and he drilled the information into our heads so hard I heard his voice in my head repeating his words when I went to bed that night.

My SOs baby momma is a drug addict. Usually you’d expect me to have anger towards her but I’ve been watching and honestly it just makes me sad because she would be such a DAMN GOOD mom and person if she would stay sober but it’s so hard for her. She was doing REALLY GOOD but then.. okay I’ll explain

She brought the child back to dads. She sits on the couch talking about how tired she is. She never ever just sits on the couch like that. Within a few minutes she can no longer keep her eyes open, and then slumps over. I got my boyfriends attention and I was like “take *childs name* to the bedroom and tell her to stay there.”

So he does.

This is when she literally just falls off the couch like play dough and this guys training is going through my head and my so watches as I drag her body to the kitchen floor flat. I caught onto what was happening way faster than he did. she was not breathing so he’s calling 911 as i I start doing CPR and she’s going COLD, I’m yelling out “she needs narcan I think bring narcan” I’m trying so hard to feel a pulse in her neck, wrist, I even lifted her shirt and looked for a pulse in her stomach. Nothing. Either it stopped or it was so weak it was about to.

I’m freaking out okay but that guys training instructions are screaming in my head. I told him to back up, and he started freaking out and asking “what are you gonna do?” And I said “JUST BACK UP AND WATCH” and I pushed him back and scooted her further away and I hit her directly where her heart is as hard as I could and she popped up and took a deep breath in and looked at me as if I had just ripped her guts out and then she goes back down and I continue CPR and I couldn’t even hear anything else besides her and myself like me blowing air into her lungs I was so hyper focused on her and I just continued to do CPR on her relentlessly and then the EMS workers come and shoot narcan up her nose and she just pops right back up like nothing happened and it kinda pissed me off because she had no idea what had just happened and it all happened infront of her kid. I was sweating like a pig and never asked for help because I didn’t know if he knew how to do it and there wasn’t enough time to TEACH you know? They convinced her to go to the ER. She got up and was trying to go home a minute after being a half corpse.

He doesn’t want her around the child until she goes to rehab and actually finishes it and stays clean for a certain amount of time. I don’t even. I don’t know what to think, I know I agree with that but i just.. hate how addiction can just change someone into this because I know this is not her.

Some side notes here okay so when I told him to take the kid to the bedroom he only listened because of my tone.

When he came back all he saw was me dragging his limp baby momma across the floor, and he is like “what THE fuck” and I’m telling him to call 911 because she isn’t breathing and he’s just about to throw up and then all the sudden I’m punching her in the chest. This poor dude