Is this normal? I literally can't do anything without my 4 year old trying to rip it from my hands. If I'm drinking something he'll try to take it and when I say no he waits until I'm not looking and takes it and runs off. He could have the same exact drink himself but will only want mine.

The same thing with food. He'll ask for something (today was a chef boyardi cup of ravioli) so I made it for him along with some fruit and he saw me eating my cereal and I literally had to hold him off with one arm (which is hard he's almost as strong as I am somehow) so I could eat in peace.

I keep a tv on all day bc I don't like being home alone with just him in silence (weird anxiety/sensory stuff I have to have background noise) and he'll scream and cry and hit until I put on a show he likes. He won't stop and get distracted, it will last all day if I don't. He could leave the room and go play with his cars in his room for an hour but if he comes back and it's not on his show he freaks out.

Or if I'm in my room when I get a migraine, I'll let him bring his toys in and turn the TV on quiet so I can rest my eyes but still have him close enough he can't get into anything, but he'll climb in the bed and try to take my blanket even though there's another one JUST like it not being used. He wants the one I'm using. And not to share. He doesn't want me to have it period.

Now he's starting to do it with other stuff. It was my phone at first. His Abuela will let him use her phone to watch some stuff on YouTube when she has him and we occasionally let him do it when we're out at restaurants if he's being extra, but now he's wanting my phone even with his shows playing. He sees me have it when I'm texting someone or doing a quick browse of Instagram when I get a second and freaks out demanding it. I don't give in though, but he won't let up sometimes for an hour or more.

Now it's books. I was reading for the first time in forever last week and he kept trying to rip it out of my hands. I just wanted a half hour to do something I like but he wouldn't stop.

We give him plenty of attention. We play with him, read to him, he likes to help do chores in the house like pick up, laundry, "cooking" with me. He plays with our dog and cat. He's in speech therapy twice a week and OT once a week. I'm trying to get him enrolled in preschool but I don't think he made the list where we're at. I take him to my Aunt's as often as I can and he plays with her grandkids who are older but not teens yet. I just don't know what we're doing wrong. Discipline of any kind does not work on him.

Is this normal???

Edit: We've had him evaluated for a couple things. We knew he was speech delayed, his behavior there lead to a recommendation to get him evaluated for autism and sensory processing disorder. Had to fight with his pediatrician for those. Had him evaluated for SPD at his therapy office and it was confirmed. Then we had to take him to get evaluated for autism and all they did was tell us he needed to do speech therapy and OT for his SPD (both he was already doing) and that he qualifies for "special needs assistance through the county schools". We never got any kind of answer....