Am I wrong here or what?


Advice and opinions please.

I’m currently on maternity leave (son is 9months) I return back to work in 5weeks (primary school teacher).

My son is breastfed and never took a bottle so I do all night feeds and day feeds (exhausting-he still wakes 4/5times a night).

My partner is self employed labourer.

Anyway. Today we had a massive row (never argued until baby come along).

When he comes in from work I make him a cup of coffee/tea ask about his day etc and then I usually (but not always) ask if he could watch our son while I get the dinner started or finished. (Son has been teething so super clingy and whinging). He then huffs and puffs about it. I sometimes ignore or I just end up taking the boy and struggle doing stuff one handed!!

So today he shouts that all I do is sit in doors with the boy while he is out doing hard back breaking work and it’s a piss take that as soon as he walks in I ‘dump’ the boy on him. He screams he never has any time to himself and I only do it to get away from the baby!

(This man will come home from work usually and roll a joint and be in the garden for hours smoking and relaxing playing on phone while I’m struggling in doors on my own with a screaming kid trying to cook etc) and usually after that he will go have a shower (I have to ask him to watch baby if I want a shower) and then eat his dinner (leave dirty plate on the side) and then go smoke again or goes gym.

My argument is that we are both his parents and even if he had to watch him for 30mins after work at least he has the whole time there after to do what he wants!

I do everything for this baby he does sod all. And when I try talk about how I feel like a single parent I’m shouted at about how hard his job is how my job is sitting down playing with kids (like WTF).

He moans he tired all the time but don’t go bed until gone midnight knowing he has to get up at 6.

Am I wrong for asking him to watch the boy when he gets home from work?

Should I have everything ready (dinner/clean house etc) before he comes home from work?

I’m starting to question whether I’m in the wrong or if I’m literally living with a selfish, lazy, man child