8 weeks and don’t know if I want it

I feel terrible. I cry daily at the thought of having this third baby and then I cry daily for having those thoughts. The life I want to live does not include a third child financially. I’m scared to talk to my husband because I wanted a 3rd at some point but it was a surprise and I held our friends baby and felt so disconnected like I don’t want to do this again. I always said women should have a choice but I wouldn’t abort but now I’m contemplating it and I feel terrible