3 months ago my husband and I lost our first child... And it's completely shattered me. It's effected me a whole lot worse than I or anyone around me thought. But my husband and I knew the moment we got the horrible news that I was going to end up taking it especially rough. Maybe I'm taking the loss so hard and with such difficulty because I've been waiting my entire life for that moment. To become a mother; it's been my dream since I can remember... And to have that just ripped away from me so suddenly without any sign or warning like that has caused a lot of issues with me mentally, emotionally, spiritually and even physically. I'm just so sad. I fake it most days and then on the few other days I just...I can't hold it in any longer and everything just becomes so cold and dark... Some days I even question if I'm a sociopath or something.. most days I force myself not to feel anything so I can function through my days without doing anything stupid. The other few days, I release it all because I can't hold it in any longer... That usually consists of crying and maybe being grumpy and lashing out at my husband... I need help processing this, moving on and coping.

Does anyone have any good healthy suggestions to help me grieve and move on quicker?