I'm almost 26, have always been attracted to women and as a kid when the other children tried to explain what a boyfriend was I couldn't understand it - my response was, well if that's what a boyfriend or PARTNER is then I want Katie (my bestest friend) to be my girlfriend! I was shamed at suggesting such a disgusting and outrageous thing, when I talked to Katie and explained she said that was against her families religious beliefs, but all was fine from mentioning it. There was also an abusive step father living with me growing up, who made it very clear how disgusting and awful it was for two women to kiss (when the EastEnders scene with Naomi kissing what's her name came on), so I guess I quickly buried it and never "came out", I didn't see the need but always assumed I was bisexual. Growing up I was never interested in boys (as in sexually attracted to them) however I did suffer from sexual abuse so I thought that was it. I've never really been with a Woman to this day, any I've seriously liked I either did/said nothing or was very much screwed over by. My second cousin told me a couple years ago about how he had no idea he was gay and had always been with women until one day he just clicked and met someone. I can't quite explain or put into words how/why/what I'm feeling but I'm really wondering if I'm just plain gay. I of course want to find out the true me so I can be happy, but unsure on how I find these answers for myself. I've never been one for "fun" outside of long term relationships so that's not an option. I just don't know what to do from here?