has anyone voluntarily admitted themselves into a psych hospital?

My mental health is getting bad. I have suffered with depression since I was 10 (20 now) and was recently diagnosed with bipolar almost a year ago. I have a lot of suicidal thoughts that i can stop thinking about throughout the day and just feel angry all of the time and don’t know how to get it out. My restaurant job is so short staffed that i’m working a lot more than i was. Dealing with the public is so much worse now, and i’m so unhappy there. This year would have been my senior year in college but i’m choosing to take a “gap year” due to the way covid is affecting everything. I feel really down on myself about that. Last semester I had to withdraw from some classes and go back home because i was so depressed and crying every single day because i was so isolated and stressed out. Literally all I wanted to do was jump out of my window. I hate feeling like this all of the time. I went back to my doctor to discuss raising my bipolar meds. She then recommended me to the psychiatrist that works in her office. Within 3 meetings he was already discussing taking me off my meds, even though we never talked about my feelings or any of the traumatic events in my life. We literally only made my family tree. I felt like he just chalked everything up to me hating my job, so I stopped seeing him. When I saw the campus psychiatrist last semester she moved my last session up because my mom had tried contacting them about how bad i was doing. The psychiatrist called me and told me that if she deemed me any more of threat to myself than what I already am she would have to have campus police escort me to the hospital to be admitted if i wouldn’t willingly go…and that’s when i decided to just go home. I have attempted suicide twice (first time I was 11/12 and swallowed a bunch of pills and the 2nd time I was 13 and tried cutting my wrists and neck with glass from a broken frame which resulted in me going to the E.R. and being admitted.) I hated being in the children’s ward because it was awful. The staff really should not have been working with kids. That experience has turned me off from ever wanting to go back to another hospital but sometimes I think it’s what i really need. How do you even admit yourself?