Venting

I really need to vent, So my husband and I got married Oct 2017 we didn't have money to have a wedding so just got married at the court it was quick, We had already been together for almost 5 years when we got married so I was just ready we'll we were gonna have the wedding 2018 but the day we got married his older brother and girlfriend announced they were getting married and having a wedding 2018 April and of course wanted us to help plan and of course be in the wedding so we did but then sadly my brother-in-law that got married passed away June 2018 on his birthday of course we just couldn't have the wedding g there was to much going on and I found out I was pregnant with baby boy number 3 I had him April 2019 and we still wanted a wedding but it was too soon my husband lost his younger brother in 2013 then his older in 2018 it was hard and I wasn't gonna have him think about groomsmen he always said it would be his younger brother then older well yea 💔  so we thought maybe 2020 well yall know what happen there so here we are 2021 we just started our first business so we've been super busy but also I found out about sperm sorting and we want to have a baby girl I had planned to get pregnant in January 2021 but here I am still wanting my wedding 😭😭😭 if y'all can just tell me something or idk all my boys are 2 years apart and I just really want a baby girl and a wedding 😭😭😭.

Also don't judge my punctuation and all that 🙃