I have herpes

So I am 22 & I just recently found out that I have herpes .. I feel honestly really gross with myself .. I have a total of about 20 sex partners .. about 12 of them being unprotected .. I just feel super gross with myself. When I was younger, I looked at sex as validation of someone liking me or “loving me”.. so I’d give into sex super easy.. I feel so gross with myself .. I feel like ppl will look at me gross .. I feel as if no man will ever want me Bc I have herpes. I got tested for herpes a week ago & they said it was something I have had for years.. but I never had an outbreak until recently.. I don’t even know who to go back track & ask.. no guy has ever even told me that he’s had herpes … & that’s the shitty part is I wish I knew who passed it to me … idk. I guess I just needed to rant.. I need advice. I’m a 22 year old girl, who made some really poor choices .. & now I am faces those consciousness