Should MOH get the bride a gift?

Question

My best friend is getting married soon and she has spent so much money for her wed day. I’m glad she’s having her dream wedding but I think she’s asking too much from her bridesmaid and myself (MOH). She’s spending close to 40k, and I’ve already dropped more than $500. And I still have to drop money on shoes, hair, makeup, jewelry, and the Bach party. The bach party alone is going to be $200-300. I’m already wayyyy over my budget and have to get a second job to put back into my savings. I don’t think I should get her a gift but i think she’ll feel some kind of way. And she’s only wanting monetary gifts. I don’t know what to do and I wanna be a great MOH but she’s becoming too expensive for me 😮‍💨

Answer

I think it’s a generally nice thing to get your friend a gift when they get married or have a baby or whatever, but it should never be expected.
When I was getting married, I let my bridesmaids decide together which dress they wanted. I gave them general parameters for shoes (black shoes, any heel height was fine) and sent them some recommendations that were affordable. I told them they could either do their own hair/makeup or pay to get it done if they preferred. That way it was all up to them and their own budget. The total they spent was $150 on their dress and I think maybe $10-20 on shoes. If they spent more than that, that was totally up to them.
I also gave all of my bridesmaids matching necklaces as a gift to wear for the wedding. That was my gift to them to say thank you. I did not expect them to gift me anything, but 2 out of the 4 did (my 2 maids of honor - I had 2 best friends since 4th and 6th grade so they split the “duties” of being MOH).
Anyone who “expects” their bridesmaids to spend shit tons of money or get them expensive or monetary gifts is spoiled, selfish, and frankly a bridezilla. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

I wouldn’t go to a wedding without a gift, regardless of my role.

Answer

No one is entitled to a wedding gift. If you give a gift, great. If not, great.

Answer

I think gifts are expected BUT with you having to pick up a second job, I would just be open and honest with her about this so she doesn’t have an expectation. 
If she’s a good friend, it won’t be a big deal and she will find a way to make this easier on you financially. At least, thats what I would do for my friends.

Answer

You can still gift something and it be small and still meaningful. 
That's just part of a wedding. Some brides expect the bridesmaid to pay their things and some the brides pay it all. I guess that may have been talked about prior to you accepting and then you discuss a budget you are comfortable with.

Answer

I would not focus on a gift, you're going to be gifting a lot with the party and also your time with any additional events. If you have concerns, you can talk to her beforehand. If she has a problem with it, it is legitimately and 100% her personal problem to get over. You cannot give more to anyone than you are able. A wedding should not put anyone in debt!
I did not expect any gifts from my bridesmaids. I paid for their hair or make up as a thank you. Also, they were free to pick their dresses and shoes in two colors (any shade). Some spend under $30 for their dresses and wore shoes they already had.

Should MOH get the bride a gift?

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