Struggle with baby in nicu and toddlers at home

Our sweet baby girl was born at 34 weeks 5 days due to placenta abruption. She was actually born a fairly good size 5lbs4oz and 18in long! She only needed cpap for 10 mins and has been room air since. After the first day she hit all 5 cues and could start bottle feeding. 😊 she is a champ and I’m hoping gets to come home sooner than expected. We live 1.5 hours from the Nicu and I have 2 boys at home 4 and 1 year old. I was discharged yesterday and we were so tired and of sitting and driving that we decided we would spend the next time home with the boys and I would start my daily drive over on Monday. But I woke up this morning just wanting to be able to help feed her and cuddle and then I feel guilty for not wanting to stay with the boys too. How did you momma’s and multiple kids do it? I know it’s the partly the baby blues but I’m struggling already.