2nd thoughts on everything

Ok so I’ve recently found out im pregnant and im having mixed emotions… IM THINKING ABOUT GETTING AN ABORTION .. I don’t believe in abortions.. but.. my bf has no kids so wen found out he was the HAPPIEST PERSON EVER… I don’t think he’s ready for a kid mentally.. we get into petty arguments he makes me sleep on the chair walks by without talking to me for days at a time.. he made me quit my job and we move a state over away from family.. tonight’s example his cousin called him for money he said no.. HIS COUSIN (D) CURSED HIM OUT BADLY & blocked him ..30 mins later he cash apps him money … last week my brother called me for 20 HE GOT UPSET AND SAID “BAE WHAT DID I TELL U ABOUT THAT UR NOT WORKING U CANT BE GIVING OUT MONEY ..(which is understandable) but he promised to cash app $30 wen he gets pay .. I didn’t send him the money because my bf told me not too n I couldn’t sleep all that night .. so wen his cousin D called him n asked .. I pointed that out to him n asked him how was that any different expect my brother didn’t curse me out n block me and my baby brother only 23 n your cousin is 32 wit a temper tantrum.. my bf says WELL YO BROTHER HAS 3 OTHER SISTERS AND A MOM AND DAD THAT WORKS HE CAN CALL THEM .. I said well your cousin has other family he can call .. he went off on me saying YEA BITCH SINCE U FEEL LIKE THAT U CAN GO BACK N STAY WITH YOUR FAMILY N HELP THEM ALL U WANT .. I asked him y do he think his family is any better than mine n he told me U KNOW THE DRILL GO ON THE CHAIR .. last time he made me sleep on the I packed n went to my mom house HE DROVE BY HER HOUSE 4 AM N KNOCKED ON THE DOOR I ANSWERED N HE ASKED ME IF I GOT LOST .. my friends says they are supportive of as my friend so they don’t call me dumb for staying but please don’t bring a child in this n I really feel like they are right … .. I wish I can jus move to a whole nother state but I have a7 year old..

Edit : My 7 year old is at my moms right now .. her school is shut down right now and her computer won’t be ready til Tuesday.. So she ask can she go help my mom with my nephew

Edit: I feel like I want to and it makes sense too because the stress will probably kill the baby later anyway 😪😪😪 n I can barley run away with 1 child if I have this baby and it gets worse it goin to more harder trying to get away wit 2 kids

Edit: I HAVE NO WHERE TO GO MY SISTERS STAY WIT MY MOM AND DAD .. he will jus come there like last time n get me .. I have a uncle that I’m talking to now that stay 3 hours away n see if I can go there for a while .. my 2 friends are scared because he knows where they stay also n I honestly don’t want to put my family or friends in any danger because of me .. I only go to school n back home

I JUS LEFT N GOT A HOTEL FOR TONIGHT N MY UNCLE COMING TOMORROW.. I WAS IN THE BACK BATHROOM CRYING N HE BUST IN THE DOOR N SAID “IF U STRESS YOURSELF OUT N KILL MY CHILD U BETTER GO WITH IT” n he have all the car keys in the bed with him and lock the room door.. I ran out the apartment wen I heard him lock the door ..my friend n her bf came n get me n drop me off to a hotel ..

thanks ladies I will try my best to get away for good ..still undecided about keeping the baby