Abusive

I am in an abusive relationship, he’s out all night with his friends. Drinks and smokes weed and does cocaine. I can’t stop him from doing it I have already tried.

I have a past history from when I was 18 I got into trouble with the law and had dcf in my life and he is using it against me now that we have kids and telling me it I leave he will win because the history and claim that I’m unstable to whoever.

He tells me I’m fat and retarted n stupid

He hits me and digs his nails into me

Acts as if he never did anything at all afterwards and that it is my fault

I’m afraid to go to a shelter because he has family and I don’t and where I live the law expects the parent to have family

All I want is to see my kids happy and I wanna be there for them every step of the way and be the best I’m I can be, I am litteraly crying while writing this and I’m scared.

What if I leave and he finds me? Or has his family lie against me and tell the courts how bad I am? They never really liked me from the start.

He tells me all the time he can coat things and have me look more bad tan I am because he has a clean record. He always tells me to leave but not to take my kids and after he hit me in the head with a basketball 3 times he told me I was crazy for lashing out and screaming n crying n called me a Karen for telling him that I could have him locked up but didn’t

Reference he is black and Cuban and I’m Caucasian/Spanish he just left to go with his friend and was talking shit and I said yeah go ahead and go do whatever! So he came around the back door and grabbed some by my hair, dug his nails into my neck threatened to kill me and than kill himself told me he would put our kids in foster care. He put his fist onto my mouth trying to break my jaw or my teeth it felt like and now I have gauges all over my head big bumps from my hair being pulled. And I am on my way out of this house.