Do I leave or do I stay?

Long story short my current husband cheated on me when we were younger. We also married young. The cheating took place in high school. Believe it or not, he is the one who told me about it. I had no clue and probably would’ve never found out if it wasn’t for him.

Another long story short- he promises he didn’t sleep with her and she says the same thing ( I talked to her face to face seperate to hear her side of things.)

Well anyways, yes that may of happened 6 years ago, and we were young and dumb but now she is around. She is dating someone in my husbands family.

Seeing her, after all these years, brought back a lot of painful thoughts and feelings.

One thought in particular is that “what if they did have sex and they’re not telling me.”

The only reason I trip about it is cause from the start I told my now husband I take sex very very seriously. I waited until marriage and he claims he did to. I kinda can say that was a huge reason why I even got married to him, was cause I felt he truly did the same as me and wait till marriage.

Now it’s really stressing me that what if he did sleep with her. What if he is covering it up. The stress is eating me alive. I asked him after we saw her, to tell me if any more happened than what he told me, and he said he promises no. He then told me that if I really wanted to know, he wanted more to happen in the moment and she said no. That hurt me a little to hear but I guess it was obvious. Essentially it was just foreplay.

I guess my question is.. no matter what he tells me or she tells me, my brain is wired to think they’re lying. I’m starting to have nightmares over it. I’m starting to have crippling daily anxiety that’s causes low appetite and restless sleeping. It’s all cause I know we will be seeing her and I can’t get over the fact I feel like he did indeed sleep with her. Not even that but just the fact this girl hurt me so much and now me and my husband have to face her at every family event and I just have to be ok with it.

I hate going to his family stuff now cause the whole time I watch him like a hawk. I don’t even want him speaking to her-or looking in her direction. I know it sounds immature but when I tell you that when he does talk to her, I can’t breathe and my face turns red/purple. I start to feel like I’m gonna pass out. It’s not like im just being “petty” it’s like my body has a very serious reaction that is uncontrollable.

My doctors have given me meds for this and they still don’t help. Am I supposed to leave my husband because of something I can’t get over?

Mind you things are great besides this mental issues I’m going through. But he keeps saying “please don’t put me through this”. Or “when you married me I thought you forgave me for what I did as a teen” stuff like that. And he’s right. Idk what to do.