These pregnancy dreams are messing me up...

Tw: sexual assault

Okay, I know it was only a dream, but I gotta get this off my chest. Because I'm still shook. And it seemed so real. And I guess it kind of connects to my real life.

Okay so, in real life: my partner can't stop using drugs. I recently saved him from ANOTHER overdose and while he was fucked up he admitted to cheating on me. He's been seeing this girl named Taylor and she gets him drugs and stuff. A real lovely person(not). And I only say she isn't a good person because he knows about me. She knows I'm heavily pregnant. And she doesn't care. She also just leaves him when he's too high so I get to find him overdosed and da with that trauma all while 7 months pregnant. Anyway..

IN THE DREAM: He's been cheating on me with multiple girls and I've been begging him to stay. For some reason he loves rubbing it into my face and I'm devastated. Well, I was drugged and I woke up to 5 people raping me and pissing on me. He's watching these people assault me while he's with his new girls. He doesn't care. I kept trying to escape these people who are like, all on his side and stuff but I can't seem to. All these girls, telling me how great he is in bed, how sexy he is, and how im nothing, basically. They're all better looking than me (which I guess stems from the fact that in real life he's told me he's not attracted to me anymore and I don't feel as pretty anymore either. I've gained a lot of weight this pregnancy and I feel so gross and ugly.) And I can't get away from them. Then they start trying to rape me. So I end up deciding to leave again and as I do, I drop my phone but I guess I also picked up my boyfriends underwear. So they call him to say I'm such a freak and still obsessed with him, blah blah blah. I end up escaping to this beach and I get this message on my phone completely in Korean. Weird. So I will towards this little town and in a mirror I see that I'm not myselfanymore. I'm this beautiful skinny girl. And then somehow all of BTS sees me and they're in love with me 😂 then I woke up. Weird, huh?

I hate these pregnancy dreams. I just want to be healed and have my beautiful baby girl 😔