Nervous to test

My husband and I have been having unprotected sex for 19 months. I’m almost 32. We were NTNP. Since a miscarriage in July, we switched gears to trying. I have autoimmune issues, probable PCOS(going through testing now) and estrogen dominance. Bc of poor sleep, I struggle to track bbt effectively, though I have recently developed more determination and resolve to make and stick to a routine and track bbt. I’m also overweight, but have finally recently been successful with beginning to lose weight with DDP yoga, cutting carbs and replacing them with healthy fats, super hydration, and a progesterone supplement.

Since my last miscarriage, I’ve been having 20-day cycles. I’m now on CD 33…and feeling queasy…I know all pg symptoms can be attributed to progesterone…so I’m not taking this as “a sign.” Im toying with the idea of testing tomorrow morning, but am nervous. I’ve had four miscarriages, have two living children, and the oldest (4yo son) is asking for more babies 😅 He is the sweetest big brother! Our daughter is more decisive and opinionated than I’ve been my entire life; we aren’t sure how she will adjust 🤣 I’m so grateful for every experience I’ve been blessed with as a mother, even the hard and sad ones.

I have a box of lh strips in my Amazon cart, ready to order the moment I start my period. I’m seriously tempted to order now, thinking I would wind up with a bfp just bc I ordered and then wouldn’t need it! Isn’t that how life works sometimes? Lol

We idk why exactly I’m posting. Maybe jitters? Where are you in your journey? How are you feeling?