Any other latinas that get my struggle?

Question

I started dating a guy that’s white and I’m Mexican, he wants to have sleepovers in the near future and I just can’t see it happening since I was raised on the belief that I should sleepover with a guy unless I’m married to him. I personally don’t mind sleepovers but I just feel it’s too soon since we’ve only been a month dating. I already lost my virginity to him but I feel that this would be another big step, especially with my parents. I’m 23 and still have to abide by their rules since I’m living with them. 
They aren’t okay with the idea of sleepover with him, so much so that my dad wants to take me when I plan to visit him in his home state. How do I mention this to him? Any other Latinas dealing with the same thing.

Answer

I think thats a great thing for a dad to do. So many young girls choose wrong and end up heart broken, lied to, cheated on, abandoned and pregnant under 25. They think its love but its lust. And safegaurds like delayed sex and no sleep overs give u a chance to not be infatuated but see a person for who they are and also… what are their plans. I dont believe in women just giving their youth away to frat bois without life goals and plans and a man that is commited to you.

Answer

I'm not latina, but the fact that you yourself feels it's too soon....the conversation ends there. Own how you feel....be a woman and dont throw the mommy and daddy thing at him, because regardless of their expectations, YOU feel it's too soon for YOU. Tell him straight up that this is where you're at right now, that you need to slow down a bit. If he cares about you, he will respect how you feel and give you time.

Answer

I AM Latina, and I’m gonna completely disagree with the other comments saying it’s not a culture thing it’s a boundary thing. It’s 100% a cultural thing my family was the same exact way. 
I was in a very similar situation to you and I’ll tell you how it went for me. I started dating a white guy when I started college and the first summer home from college he wanted to come visit me, my family said no way no how is he coming to visit here and stay alone with you in your room. 
So we had a mutual friend come down too and she stayed with us as well so there were three of us in the room. She understood we were two adults and we’re gonna wanna do things so she’d graciously exit the room for a bit if we gave the signal and do something else for a bit. My family specifically my mom and sister went out of their way to make this visit as difficult as possible. With my older sister crying and pitching a fit running inside to tattle that I was having sex in my room when she came to tell me something and found the door locked.
A grown woman ran inside the house crying to our mommy because of it. So that tells you a bit about my family. 
Staying over at his house was much different, the first few times I slept over at his house I slept in a guest room. After getting to know his parents more and our relationship progressed we started sleeping in the same room.
I was raised with the culture of no sleepovers til your married and all that jazz but I don’t live by it. Doesn’t work for everyone and that’s fine. But if you do wanna live by it just be transparent. If this is a dealbreaker he deserves to know that. 
As long as you’re living with them and unmarried this is going to be apart of your relationships. And it’s up to you to be honest and transparent about that because the guy who’s worth it will stick around, but the other guys deserve to know what they’re getting into so they can go find what they’re looking for if that’s not you

Answer

It’s not a culture thing it’s a boundary thing. Set your boundaries and be fi with them. If your not ok with that that’s totally valid snd should be respected. Use this as a “test” to see how well this man of yours respects your boundaries, even one he might disagree with.8’ in the same situation, my parents are the same, but my bf was very understanding and never pushes

Answer

I don’t have any advice, stick to your beliefs hun, if you don’t want to then don’t. I stayed at my now husbands house the night I met him

Answer

I’m going to tell you about a friend of mine, her parents were super strict, the only way out of the house was pregnancy or marriage, so of course the siblings married, just to get out of the house and under their rule, and several of them got divorced or are miserable, I think it is very wrong to be that uptight because clearly your kids would rather be miserable or abused or neglected or whatever it may be rather than live with you, because you are so strict. Kind of sets your kids up for failure but not sure if your parents are that bad, the minute they got an ounce of reality, they went buck wild, kind of understandable, I went to a very religious high school with uniforms, uniforms for gym, no physical contact, no air-conditioning, it was the most horrible experience let’s just put it that way, so of course every single year there was a pastors daughter pregnant, they would kick them out, probably the wrong approach obviously but unfortunately it happened they get a taste of reality and they go crazy, and you get an ounce of freedom, it’s kind of understandable. But I don’t agree that parents have those kinds of rules that they end up sabotaging their children’s happiness because they are so uptight, but at the same token, they have those rules in place for a reason, because I don’t want to be teenage teenagers with kids, they don’t want to be young grandparents, so it’s kind of understandable, but you need to have a balance basically and obviously you’re going to make mistakes, obviously accidents happen, obviously nothing is 100% aside from not having sex, but at the same token, controlling, narcissistic, manipulative, be reading and treating your children horribly, isn’t the way to go either, my friend on her wedding day even her father was an asshole and told them that he doesn’t agree to the marriage, he hopes it ends in divorce, and treat her like shit even on her wedding day, what parent does that. My sex talk from my mother was you get pregnant you get the hell out of my house, I’ve never had any kind of relationship with my mother, aside from dictator, narcissistic, as you can see I can totally relate to the situation. I dealt with everything on my own my entire life, I went through my first period, I went through rape, I went through miscarriages, I went through sexual abuse as a child on my own because my mother was never anyone I could talk to. And I think there needs to be some kind of change in the culture, unfortunately baby boomers are a very selfish generation, they didn’t have the coping mechanisms that we do today, and unfortunately relationships were very toxic. Obviously taking things slow with the guy is out of the question now since you’ve already had sex with him, but you need to figure Out what he’s actually looking for, is he looking for friends with benefits, is he looking for a relationship, is he looking for a hook up, and no matter what he’s looking for, you obviously need to be careful, be preventative of sexually transmitted diseases infections and pregnancy. I wish you luck I honestly do, and I hope things get better￼￼￼￼￼

Any other latinas that get my struggle?

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