12 and sleeping in the bed with dad?

Question

Honestly this doesn't bother me too much. It's my boyfriend's ex mil who has an issue with it. He has custody of his 12 year old son and there's a restraining order against his mom on him and his son. Idk why at all. So his son sometimes gets scared and comes to sleep in the bed. It has happened maybe 3x this year. He will come in the room saying he had a nightmare and peed his bed and is scared and my boyfriend will just point to the bed and his son will sleep in the bed with him. I don't see the big deal since it's only happened 3x this year. And I try not to judge parents. If there's no abuse or harm to the child going on then why would I judge? His ex mil(she's still in the picture) had a huge issue with it but I think she should be more worried about her daughter 🤷

Answer

I slept in my dads bed until I was in my teenage years🤷‍♀️which is why I also felt comfortable sleeping by him as an adult while he battled stage 4 cancer. There was nothing weird about it, we had lots of laughs and conversations, he was my best friend and it’s a bittersweet memory I have with him now that he’s gone. I can’t imagine if someone had discouraged me from getting that time with him. So obviously my opinion is if it makes him feel safe then I don’t see any harm in it.

Answer

I wouldn't care. My kids are 3 and 2 and they sleep with me if they get scared. I've already said it wont change if my kids need me. Of course I would want to build a secure measure in case of night terrors and build a routine to work them back into their own bed once they hit an older age but it sounds like the boy has had trauma... I assume since the mother has been served a restraining order that he.might need some counseling.to help work through the emotions and see if there's underlying anxiety that may lend to these moments and if there's a certain trigger. My ex abused my now 3 yr old and she has triggers that cause her to have night terrors. I have worked to build her confidence in facing them and not being afraid. I also think it may be time for the ex mil to be told to take a hime or just don't inform her if things of such a personal nature occur? None of her business unless you're stating her daughter is causing.the trauma that leads to these nights.

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My almost 9 year old will also sleep with me from time to time if he’s gotten sick or had a bad dream or something. Honestly who cares?

Answer

My dad laid down in the floor in the room my sister and I slept in until we fell asleep until I was like 11. We turned out just fine. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. MILs just want to have something to complain about 😂

Answer

I’d just keep it between you guys then so she doesn’t know if or when it happens since it’s really not her business what he does with his son and where the kid sleeps. If it’s occasional and he’s had any traumatic events I’d do the same. And sometimes if he’s had an accident and cleaned himself up it’s easier for dad to let him join and get back to sleep than getting up to change bedding.

Answer

Uhh I would 100% do this, there is nothing wrong with it. A patents bed should always be a safe space for their kids in my opinion. Mine definitely is, my 7 year old will climb in bed every now and then and I wouldn't turn him away even at 12.

Answer

In my option there’s nothing wrong with this at all. The son had a nightmare and wanted to be in the company of somebody that he feels safe with. I did it with my parents and I expect my daughter to do the same when she has nightmares. 
It would be a different story if the son was bed sharing with his dad and never slept in his own bed. But that’s not the case here. 
I wonder if the MIL would have a problem if this was a girl or if it’s just because of that unhealthy “boys should be tough” mentality.

Answer

Who cares? Why is she making a relationship between a father and son inappropriate? Sounds like she's the problem. Mind her own business.

Answer

If it doesn’t bother you and it’s only 3 times a year it’s a nonissue. Who cares what the ex MIL says. She clearly raised a problem of a child herself if there’s a restraining order. She gets no say.  Dad knows what his son been through and it sounds like he’s doing a great job. I’d never turn away my child if they were scared.  He’s being a good parent.

12 and sleeping in the bed with dad?

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