Things with my boyfriend are in a bad place. He got mad at me and told me that I was never allowed at his house anymore. For something that had happened at his house. This past month I started going to his house on Wednesdays since I wasn’t working but we usually only see each other on Sunday’s due to our work schedules. I even changed my schedule at work so we can hangout on Sunday’s again. Since I had to request some Sunday’s off to be able to see him which upset him that I would work the only day we would see each other.

We usually always argue, i do have to admit I start most of the argument due to my insecurities but the recent argument that cause his decision was Sunday. I called him today and he was so uninterested in the conversation. When I asked him if I stressed him out he said yes you really do. I know it’s my fault for asking and just got my feeling hurt. I asked if he really meant to never allowing me at his house he said yes. Later that he didn’t know. I told him that would change things between us even more and insinuating probably the cause of our break up. He got upset saying that I was threatening him and if I wanted to say something to say it upfront. We usually always hang out at his house since he doesn’t want to interact with my family anymore. We have four years together honestly on and off. But he became distant with them, I do have to agree that my family isn’t the best at making him feel welcome. My dad is a drunk so he is always in a bad mood but when they do see each one they wave at each other hi. My mom adores him and him my mom. He gets very well with one out of my three brothers. But they were coming around until he stopped coming . They haven’t seen each other for a while now.

Anyways back to the problem. He got upset at me insinuating that causing the break up and he hanged up on me three times. After we talked about how their things. We had talked about me going back to school and it would benefit the both of us since we have talked about getting married and we would have a better life. He said he would help me pay my tuition, so I asked if he would still help he said yes. I told him that I would talk to him on Tuesday to see if he would be able to help with the down payment I have to give and he said yes. He said but today is Tuesday, I said I know and he said okay. He started to saying bye and for me to let him if I wanted to go with him to church and I said I don’t think so. He said since you already have a new places. I just hanged up on him. I changed his contact info to his name, I had him as my love. I removed him from my find my friend. I’m just so tried at how bad things are..there’s so many times when I say that’s it I’m not contacting him until he does. Since we have gone days without talking but I always call him the next day. I feel so attached because I lost my virginity to him which I honestly regret so much. I hate him so much for all the tears I have shed and he’s like nothing happened. I hate that I can’t let go when I know he is not the one.