Postpartum.. what were your symptoms? How bad did it get?

Were you prescribed anything?

Me: it started out slow and after my husband left to start up work again. He took 6 weeks of leave, 1 of which I was pregnant for. When he left the baby became a cluster feeding baby, feeding every 1-1.5 hrs non stop. Eat, burp, put to sleep, if he wasn’t asleep we’d play, he also did not want to leave my arms at all.

Husband has 2 jobs, not that he needs the second we just have a goal we want to reach and that’s why he works 2. So he’s away for most of the day like from 2am-7pm. So when he comes home he has time to eat, hold the baby 10-15 mins and to sleep. Since the baby is constantly feeding I basically get no sleep. At all, 30 mins here 30 mins there, it takes me 2-3 hours to reach any sleep, but sometimes my body gives in and I get 30 mins here and there but never any restful full sleep. So I start to get sad, start to get tired, start to feel alone, I can’t get out of bed, I don’t eat, I have no time to eat or make food, shower? Every other day.. with the baby. I stop putting make up on. Stop house work, I can’t get out of bed, only to do baby stuff, he needs me and rest assured I’d do anything for my son.

So sadness, sleeplessness, anxiety kicks in. Weeks past by, I’m still bleeding heavily, Depo shot was given to me, it makes the bleeding worse, still cramping. Still having back pain. I complain to the doctor, doctor says “it’ll get better” I’m dieing inside. Like how the hell would you know, help me. I go home feeling sadder then ever, in pain in mental pain, exhausted.

I finally see the psychiatrist, I tell him what medication I need (I’m crying my eyes out to him) he says no. You’ll take this, I tell him I know my body that won’t work!! I beg him, no joke.

So I try his medication, hmmmm I feel more anxious this is weird, but I stick it through, I feel worse, more anxiety, now I’m having weird nasty dreams (even with the 30 minute sleeping periods) I start to feel like the world is against me, my husband, my mom, dad, my mom in law and I start to think I’m a failure of a mom. I keep repeating I need to sleep I need to sleep but can’t. I’ve asked for help but doctors will not listen, they don’t care no one cares!!

Anyways it gets worse… way worse.

What’s your symptoms/story? What did you do to help yourself? How long did it take to go away?