I’ve debated posting this..

So I’ve been debating posting this for the past week.. I really don’t want to upset anyone that has any types of struggles getting pregnant so please if I do I am so sorry! I got my nexplanon taken out the 21st of September 2021.. I was switching to the pill. We decided that we would “try” one month before I started it and if nothing happened we’d wait until next year.. I really didn’t think anything would happen because with my other kids it took a few months of actively trying to get pregnant. Well I’m 5 weeks pregnant today and I’m feeling very conflicted. Don’t get me wrong we are excited and want this baby so bad! And are so great full that it happened on the first try! But at the same time I am so scared and dreading the next nine months. Have any other mom gone through this? I know what I’m in store for and I think that maybe that is part of it? I have ptsd from my last birth and I think that is playing a big role in why I’m so scared. I want to just skip the next 9 months and wake up after they’re born…