Ectopic grief

hello everyone ! well we’re obviously all here for the same reason. we unfortunately had to go through an ectopic 😔. it’s been an emotional roller coaster for me. I’ve had 3 methotrexate shots & get my levels checked tomorrow ! after this 3rd one everything seems to be going good ! the last 2 times I’ve had my levels checked, I’ve had a huge drop so fingers crossed tomorrow I get the good news that it’s all over with. Im just ready to move on !! this has been going on for a little bit over a month, im just ready to move on. is it wrong for me to feel selfish ? I know some of u may judge me, but I’m sure some of u will also understand. 2 of my friends & a cousin of mine have announced their pregnancy within the last 2 weeks. Im so happy for them bc 2 of them have gone through miscarriages, so im so happy they’re getting their rainbow baby !! but at the same time I feel sadness, because I so badly want that to be me 💔 all I’ve ever wanted was to be a mom. I feel horrible for feeling this way. I always thought I’d have a hard time getting pregnant since my periods are irregular, but it only took me & my bf 6 months of trying. But now w/ these 3 methotrexate injections, I need to wait 9 months to even be able to try again. I’ve been keeping my emotions to myself lately because I feel like I bug people trying to open up about how I feel. I don’t think I’ve cried so much in my entire life like I have this past month. all of this is so exhausting. I ask myself, what did I do wrong ? could I have done something to prevent this ? but I know it’s not my fault this happened. it’s something I couldn’t control. I’m just ready to move on from all of this.