Hi. I’m not sure what to do here but I feel like I needed to reach out as I’m in need of some.. advice.

My name is Leanna and I am 23 years old. And on November 22nd, I went to the hospital after leaving work with sharp pains in my right side and extreme nausea. I had assumed it was pre-period symptoms and laid at home for 4-5 hours before I called my fiancé to take me to the ER because the pain was so unbearable (he was at work). Once we were there, they assumed it was appendicitis but proceeded to look into everything to make sure of the diagnosis before just jumping in. After a quick pee test and drawing some blood, they hauled me off to see an ultrasound tech to check on my ovaries after my pregnancy test came back positive. I didn’t know until the ultrasound tech asked me what pregnancy this made (it was my first) while I was in the bathroom trying to change for the vaginal ultrasound. The tech was so sweet and held me as I cried and wiped my tears and said sweet words to me to try to calm me down because I was still in a lot of pain.

After an excruciating 30 minutes of painful but necessary poking, the tech was done with the ultrasounds and wheeled me back to my room. From there, the doctor informed me that my ovary was 5x3.5 and was only getting bigger and I’d have to have emergency surgery to remove it if untwisting it didn’t relieve the pressure. He also told me that my HCG levels were extremely low (sitting at 800). The OBGYN that was performing my surgery and her amazing staff were so warm and gentle in explaining the process and making sure all of my 3,000 questions were answered. At midnight of November 23rd, they took me back for my surgery.

I woke up around 5 am and my night nurse was so sweet and took such good care of me but wasn’t able to tell me anything until the OBGYN spoke with me besides that I was alive and going to recover just fine.

When the OBGYN finally came in around 10 that morning, she had informed me that my ovary was not the issue. That the “swelling” in my ovary was actually internal bleeding and fluid built up. She was able to save my ovary but she had to take my Fallopian Tube, where my pregnancy had been implanted and caused all of the pain. This sweet, sweet woman held me as I cried over a pregnancy I knew of for only a few hours.

I guess what I’m asking for advice on is how long does it take to start to feel okay again? Physically, I’m healing really well but mentally and emotionally, I can’t stop crying. I feel like I shouldn’t even be able to cry over this pregnancy because it was so short and so early but my heart aches at every reminder that it’s gone. I haven’t confessed to any family of these feelings because I’m just so unsure of how I should feel about the pregnancy..

Any advice or words of encouragement would be appreciated.