TW!!!! sexual abuse/rape. Bf being “too” supportive?

Okay this might get long but please read and help me out. I’ve been with my boyfriend for some time now and a while ago I opened up to him about my sexual abuse in the past. My uncle molested me from age 5-10, when I was 12 I got raped by a summer camp counselor, and I was drugged and gang raped at 16. I went to therapy many years and I’m doing well, but it’s still part of my past and I sometimes get triggered so I felt the need to tell him. He was very supportive and sweet! A few days later we were making out and he was standing in front of me grabbing my head and pushing it on his dick. This is a major trigger for me so I froze for a second, and then calmed down reminding myself who he is, just pulled him up to me, kissed him for a while to relax and we proceeded. After we were done I told him that what he did was triggering me and to please not do it again. He was so apologetic, he almost cried, and he said he doesn’t understand why I didn’t say anything in that moment and it made him feel like an ass that I still continued. Anyways we talked it out and everything was good. Next time we were intimate we were kind of rough (which we BOTH like) and he kept asking me if I was ok with it etc. I told him yes but to please stop asking, because once he brings it up it kind of reminds me and crushes the mood. He understood. So now a lot of times we are intimate I can feel him hesitating or stopping himself from doing something, and I know he doesn’t want to ask if I’m ok because he doesn’t want to ruin it, but it kind of still does because I know why he’s doing it and then I think about the past etc etc. It’s just a circle now and I don’t know how to make it better, like we were before I told him. I know he has the best intentions on making me feel comfortable and safe, but I also kind of wish I never told him because now it’s like it will never be the same. Any advise? ☹️