Rising anxiety while I prep for a visit back home

I have a narcissistic mom and an uncle who is an enabler of many things toxic who is also married to a racist. I have cut off my uncle for about 5 years now and I recently cut my mother off.

My grandma revealed that she has been diagnosed with COPD but she also has chronic back pain, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, pre diabetic and a weight problem yet her two children expect her to produce the same Thanksgiving meal she has done for years. They have no plans on helping her. My sister and I relocated to the south 5 years ago we don't get along with our mom or uncle we've become each other's support system we speak to our grandma daily. We hear her cries for help, we do something about it when we can, she's not happy about cooking all this food but she's so family oriented she wont let the family down so I step in, I learned how to cook from her. I'm making a trip to take over for her I don't say help because she never lifts a finger in my presence. It baffles me how her own children are unwilling to help their mom but she also enables them so I always lose this argument but there will be so much tension when my mom and uncle arrive. My mom and I differences are new while my issue with my uncle is unresolved.

This particular issue involved me getting pregnant after a break up while he and his wife were having trouble conceiving, they were expected to have a child but at the time I had nothing and I got pregnant I was bullied and tormented my entire pregnancy, I made an unlikely friend and romantic interest in my uncle's younger frat bro, he found out but what he didn't know was that we were in love, he said some things to his frat bro he then told me which triggered my depression I left him, something I do regret but I found something good in my current marriage. This frat bro recently found me and asked for closure he regrets telling me that but he did what he claims he should've done back then... scolded my uncle for costing him his wife. I got this strong feeling shit will go down especially since my sister had an incident recently with both my uncle and his wife to which she was being racist towards my sister 😳

My husband is aware of everything, he was the one who insisted I give this man closure. He feels like ghosting is horrible no matter the circumstances.