I can’t stand being a stay at home mom any longer

I just cannot do it mentally anymore. Being stuck in a house with a newborn and a toddler doing the same routine. Every. Single. Day. I feel like I’m going insane. I have no life. I have no friends. I have no damn family around to give me a break for even an hour. Their dad just keeps making excuses as to why I can’t work. Claiming he won’t pay for daycare! Well who pays me to stay home. Not him .. I never wanted to be a stay at home mom I just want to work and have a normal life. It’s not fair. I’ve been stuck in the same position for years now I’m so depressed because I see everyone else in the world accomplishing their goals and biggest dreams. I’m 20, soon to be 21 and feel like I failed. I want to be stable in life for myself and kids. Not living off of others. It’s so hard. Nobody understands. I feel like I’m drowning. Idk just needed to vent. I know tomorrow will be the same. Because until I can find a babysitter. Get a job. Learn to drive. Get a license. Absolutely nothing will change. It’s so much harder when you don’t even have one person in your corner to go to for support or help. Mentally. Or physically. If we weren’t going to die anyway I’d already have given up.

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