God told me a complete stranger is my future husband
I need to ask for your opinions…..
I got baptized on Sunday. My mom, sister and boyfriend were all there. I almost chickened out. It has been on my heart for awhile but i still tried to come up with every excuse to not get baptized. I have social anxiety so the thought of being in front of everyone and having to tell them why I’m getting baptized scared me. I have panic attack during public speeches! This was a very intimate, powerful moment. After i told my boyfriend why i wasn’t getting baptized a few days ago at church, the Lord started convicting me during the sermon. It became so overwhelming that i ended up crying. I knew it was my time. It was the top 2 best days of my life!
My point for posting this is because i need opinions. I have a hard time with discernment due to my anxiety. I’m in a relationship with a nonbeliever (i know what you’re going to say. I know). He’s been very supportive of my faith. He’s been going to church with me every Sunday. I am happy in our relationship. I don’t even look at other men so what happened after my baptism was a surprise to me.
After getting out of my wet clothes, i started to walk towards where my boyfriend, daughter and mom were standing. At the time other people were getting baptized. I heard this guys voice and thought to myself, “this is my future husband”. This was before i even saw his face. I couldn’t really even hear what he was saying because he had a soft voice. I looked at him and thought he was attractive. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He isn’t the hottest thing in the world. I didn’t have any lustful thoughts while looking at him. I just felt this energy drawing me towards him. It became overwhelming so i looked away and heard what i believe to be the Lord say, “just wait”. I’ve been praying for God to eliminate anyone from my life who isn’t meant to be there — give me signs, and help me find the people that will help me fulfill his purpose he has for me and vice versa. I’ve been praying for my future husband. I am just wondering if this has happened to anyone else or if you guys think that was truly God? I hear God but I question if it’s him because I’m worried that I’m leaning into my own desires.. but this contradicts that fear. I didn’t even see his face when i heard that he’s my future husband. I was looking at my boyfriend and daughter. I wasn’t desiring him. It was a thought that just popped up. it was a nudge. And i felt this energy when i finally did look at him.
Am i crazy?
I’m being obedient and waiting. Also after my baptism i see things more clearly and i am working on mustering up the strength to leave my relationship even though i really really love him. 🥲
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