I just want to cry!

I really struggle with not developing feelings for friends not just any friends heterosexual friends.

I’ve had enough of it and don’t know what to do and wish I just didn’t have emotions of any attraction to anyone.

I know why it happens as well, 1) I feel safe around them. 2) they are people that are trained in similar areas as me (medicine or medical research) and I struggle to communicate with lay people, so I can talk to them on my level.

It’s just so much heart ache no matter what I do, suppress the feelings = heart ache, talk to the person = lose a friend = heart ache.