I don’t understand how I can be a better mother

So I’m feeling very mom shamed and I honestly don’t know how to improve.

I’m a SAHM to a 5 year old, 3 year old and 1 year old. My husband works A LOT and doesn’t really have time to do anything household or kid related. When he gets home it’s time for dinner, bath, and bed, and he helps with all of that. Butttt literally everything else is on me. The entirety of cleaning a 5 bedroom house, groceries, laundry, appointments, keeping up clothing, shoes, the dog, her medical needs, and this time of year, 100% of the gifting for everyone we know.

I try my hardest to get the kids outside every day but most of the time that doesn’t happen. I simply don’t have time with everything else going on. From the time I wake up until around 1pm when they go down for a nap, I am cleaning, doing laundry, or doing something else around the house that needs to be done. When they wake up at 3pm, I usually have some kind of errand to run, or more cleaning to do, because no matter how much cleaning I do, my house always seems to be a wreck. Crumbs constantly. Dog fur constantly. Toys everywhere. Clothes that are never folded. Toilets that always have pee on them from a 3 year old potty training.

Recently my mom asked me why I don’t take them outside or to do fun stuff during the day. Because... how?! With everything else? What time do I have? I don’t even have time to eat for myself during the day.

People always tell me “just stop cleaning so much”... literally I can’t. If I ignore the food on the floor or the diapers piling up we will get bugs. We live in a tropical climate of Florida.

I feel like a shit mom because I don’t really “do” anything with my kids. I’m always busy with something else and they’re just there with me.

Is anyone else in this boat?