Is my husband gay?

Hi, i am married but unhappily married. i have been having an affair because i am not being appreciated physically, emotionally and mentally and whatever else. i know you will say i should divorce, yes i can divorce but part of me feels bad too.

Okay here is my question, is he gay or a cross dresser? since we got married like 18 years ago, he always want to wear sexy dress, shoes, wigs and i can’t watch him do that, he was hiding it before, and i used to throw those things away when i saw it. and that’s what stopped me from having sex with him. he acts like a girl, but he told me he only do it because it gets him excited and especially now it’s been like 10 years or so that we have not had sex. i gave up and told him he can do whatever - if he wants his sexy stuff, he can. i’m only living with him like roommates. Now he is doing fake nails 😭😭😭😭

he is so lazy, i do everything .. if i ask him to do stuff it’s like the end of the world, just like a teenager girl huhu..

part of me asked why do i deserve someone like him, part of me wants to hopefully want him gone and maybe one day i can find someone that is a real guy and don’t have this girl stuff and will help me.

is this too much to ask?