Traumatic Labor/Delivery - Need advice!

Edited to add** Thank you to ALL of you ladies so much. It’s been so relieving just to know I’m not alone and not crazy for how I’ve been feeling. I am so grateful to you all for your vulnerability and kindness in helping me think through how to move forward ❤️**

Hey mommas. I’m almost 7 months postpartum after having our first child, our daughter Olivia. I just got my period back so my husband and I could theoretically start trying whenever we want at this point for baby #2 , and while I KNOW I want more kids (we had previously discussed waiting to start trying again sometime between 9-12months), it’s also bringing up some really rough memories from my labor and delivery. I don’t want to go into a lot of details but long story short, I was told by my doctors they wouldn’t let me go past 36 weeks so they induced me at 36 weeks; they tried continuously for 3 days before giving up and doing a c-section. I was basically in labor with back labor the entire time for 3 days. I got sick immediately after the c-section and started throwing up with my fresh incision. The process and recovery was horrible and I’m honestly just terrified. I don’t know how to move past this.

Mommas who have gone through traumatic/difficult labors - how did you feel about going through labor again? How did you handle actually going through labor again?

Thank you in advance. I fully understand that this is a super hard topic and appreciate any thoughts and advice you have.