Encouraging words please..

Let me start off by saying my boyfriend is 42 & I’m 23. We just had a baby 3 months ago. (I know my age difference will be a problem to most, I just need words of encouragement). We have been together for a little over a year & a few days before Christmas he left his Apple Watch when he had went to town one day. I had this gut feeling something was off so I decided to go through it & ended up finding out he’s been texting his ex girlfriend the whole time we have been together. He was sending her love quotes, picking up her kid from school, talking shit about me but coming home everyday telling me how amazing I am & even took our 3 month old daughter to meet her. He was telling her personal business about my life that I trusted him with. I packed all my things & left, he started crying telling me he would fix us & that he knew it was wrong the whole time just didn’t know how to stop because she’s always been a “friend” to him. They dated for 6 years before him & I. Let me mention all her stuff is still out in his garage & they broke up 3 years ago, he said he’s been throwing it away little by little each week, but the whole time we have been together I’ve not seen him throw away one thing so I took it upon myself to do it & he ends up telling her I threw all their stuff away when he’s the one that told me to, he claimed he didn’t want her stuff here anymore. They literally have nothing together but a past. I gave him the benefit of the doubt & decided to work with him to fix things for our daughter, I’ve cried everyday since I found out what he’s been doing. Well yesterday I go through his watch again to only find out he’s unblocked her & messaging her again!! When I literally just cried my eyes out Christmas Day about the whole situation to find out he unblocks her after Christmas Day. He saying the same things about fixing us & now he’s really learned his lesson, but he’s a manipulator & I’m scared to fall back into his trap because I love him so much. I’m still moved out & just confused. I need words of encouragement to move on from this because the heart break feeling sucks! He also told me he needed to leave her alone on his time because he didn’t want to hurt her, meanwhile he’s hurting the hell out of me. Basically he’s choosing her over me it seems like & he swears he isn’t but he’s so stuck on not hurting her… I’m just so upset about the situation.

216 views • 1 upvote • 8 comments

COMMENT (8)

de

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You know he’s lying. Move out. Only talk to him about the baby.

Ol

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She is very clearly the one that got away. He wasn’t throwing her stuff out because he was hoping she’d come back. He clearly doesn’t love you enough to leave her alone. He’s playing house with her by picking up her kid from school and letting her meet your daughter. I’m pretty sure if she wanted him back, he’d be gone. He’s only with you because he can’t have her. And he can’t let you get away either because then when she rejects him, he’ll have nobody to fall back on.

Ce

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This won’t ever stop. If it’s not her it’ll be someone else. You should be the absolute first person he goes to with personal things, and she shouldn’t even be in the picture. You deserve better than that and your daughter deserves to see her mom loved by someone, not used and lied to.

Lu

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He's playing you for a fool. You know it's just a matter of time before he does it again. It's not just the fact that he's talking to her, it's also that he's making you look like a fool too by badmouthing you to her and then sweet talking you in person. Leave and take him on for child support.

Sa

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You said it yourself, he is a liar and a manipulator. You know you need to leave. This isn’t a healthy relationship. He sounds like he is still stuck on his ex. It sucks, it really does, but it’s better to know now rather than another 5 years and two more babies down the road.

Ti

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Your mind sees what’s going on but it’s hard for your heart to see. You love him and your heart doesn’t want to believe what your mind is telling you. You can listen to encouraging words but only you can determine when you don’t want to do it anymore. Show him you won’t tolerate it. I don’t think it’ll change but you determine how many chances he gets and how much you want to put up with. Leaving is hard in the beginning but it gets easier over time, you will look back and see how he made you feel. At the end of the day, it’s your feelings and how many chances you give until enough is enough.

Ro

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What would you tell your daughter if she was in your shoes? Maybe that perspective will help you see through it. You deserve better!

m

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Avoid avoid avoid him, you deserve so much more as the mother <33 you got this!