I had a horrible night, I snapped over bottles, and now I feel nothing for my son, and I hate being a mom. The thoughts of “why did I do this?!” And “this was a huge mistake” keep coming up and I just want to leave and never come back. I wish I could just sleep forever and never wake up. I don’t want to hold my son anymore either. I even feel like I don’t want him anymore. I’m just tapped out. I don’t want this kind of life anymore. I hate it. All I have done today is cry and have a major urge to self harm. It’s making me wonder if he’d be better off with another family… I just feel horrible all around…