We’ve recently come to realize that I may be dealing with PPD. My husband is usually my rock but he says “if you’re depressed that’s fine but I can’t help you. Figure it out.”

Yet now suddenly he’s so negative and down and says he needs me to be there for him and help get him through his shit?

He’s stressed with work and bombards me with it all and complains about it constantly and then expects me to be happy and help him through it when I feel like I’m constantly alone and drowning and I feel like a terrible mother and wife in a daily basis. My one month old is sick with Covid and I’m home alone everyday taking care of him and my oldest feels neglected because mom can’t play with him or take him sledding (he’s 9). I’m sick and I’m still cleaning and cooking meals while he’s sitting on his ass after work. I had to take care of him and two kids when he was sick and I still have to when I’m sick and he’s feeling better.

Why is it that no one takes care of me at all. I’m told to figure it out and get help outside the home.

How the hell can I do that when I’m breastfeeding and my baby’s sick and only wants mom?

None of it makes sense to me. So I’m putting on a smile to help my husband while I feel like I’m drowning and I’ll never stop. I feel like the darkness keeps getting darker and there is no light in sight.