Can anyone relate?

I’m a first time mom. Daughter is 13 months old. She’s gone to daycare since she was 4 months old and is doing great but other than daycare, I’ve never had anyone else watch her or babysit. I live out of state from all family and have very few friends so if I want to do something out, I have to have my husband watch her or I take time off from work when she is in daycare.

So many people including my husband don’t understand why I don’t want to hire a babysitter. The process of finding someone I trust feels daunting and tiring and I have little energy. I feel like really the only person I trust with my kid is me but I’m tired and it impacts things I get to do and what I don’t get to do.

Are there other parents out there who struggle with wanting to get a break but never fully relaxing with letting someone else watch their kid(s)? (I have let some family watch her for an hour or 2 when we go on trips to visit family but that’s been it).