Earlier I was talking to two of my neighbors. We are friendly, however, I have not told them about my miscarriage last July. They also dont know I have tried and tried and failed at becoming a mom. But this lady looks at me and says you look pregnant. You need to take a test. I smiled the best I could and told her I took one yesterday and it was negative. She continued talking about her own pregnancies and how she was 5 months the 1st time b4 she knew. And that was all fine.

But then when I came home.... I became so agitated and angry at the silliest things. I even said G.D. out loud twice. I rarely use that term. If anything I say God Bless instead. I couldn't figure out what the anger was for.

Then I began to get nervous because when I lost our baby I didn't know I was pregnant because my tests kept coming back negative. I was about 12 weeks when it happened. But the last 2 months everytime a not pregnant stick tore my heart out I drank. Alot. More than usual. Now I feel like a POS.

Does anyone know what I'm going through? Who do I tell any of this too? Everyone is so self absorbed. I feel so alone right now.