Basically feel disowned

*Warning, this will be long, but I really just need to vent, I don't have anyone else to talk to.

So after one fight, my mother has basically disowned me. It's really hard to say exactly why she feels so betrayed she needs to cut me off from the family, but some things she's said include "you don't care about my feelings" and "you have your family" (talking about my in-laws). First of all, this started because I wanted to take my side of the family on a vacation this year; it was their Christmas surprise. Then my husband decided to invite his mother, because his dad passed last year and of course she's going through a rough time. I tried to warn him to let it be, that we could do something seperate with his sode of the family, because his mom and mine aren't on the best of terms. Of course he didn't listen, but anyway he invited her. So my mom proceeds to call and tell me they aren't going anymore because she can't stand to be around my mother-in-law and it wouldn't be relaxing for her. Of course I get upset, at both her and my husband, but whatever, I can get over it and decide to just not take a vacation at all. She then ends up calling about a week later and we end up fighting big time. Probably worse than we ever have. She yells that I don't care about her feelings and that she absolutely cannot stand to be in the same vicinity as my mother-in-law, proceeds to call her a b****, and when i say not to call her that, claims "I'm not allowed to feel how I feel?" Of course I say her feelings matter, and try to ask what happened to make her hate her so much, but no matter how much i ask, and try to explain that I can't understand if she won't explain it to me, she refuses. At that point, we're not getting anywhere near resolution, so I say I love you, but i have to go for now. I call a week later, because she's still struggling with covid, to check on her. I say something like, I know we have things to work out but I dont want to do it on the phone, I just want to call and see if you are okay. She proceeds to respond something like"took you a week to call. You don't need to worry about how im doing, im fine. You shouldn't worry about me." Which might seem fine by reading it, but her tone was condescending, like "you don't deserve to call and ask how I'm doing" she couldn't even have a simple conversation with me. I get a text later that says, "this is all my fault, I'm sorry." Grrrrr...I already know this isn't sincere first of all. Second of all, she knows i would never blame it all on her like that! I only respond with asking to meet up or call to talk. She says no, she just needs time. I say ok, if that's what you need, i love you. No reply. After this, is a my daughter's first birthday party. First, i hear from other family she isnt coming at all. I did tell my father we still wanted her there , of course she was still welcome to come, and welcome to see her granddaughter anytime. She ended up coming but stayed in a corner the whole time. I tried to hug her to thank her for coming and ask if she needed a drink or anything. She physically turned away from me. I had to make sure i asked her and my dad to get a picture with the baby. Cause i knew they'd regret it if they didn't. Mom didnt even try to hold or play with her. They left pretty early. Then they wanna complain that i acted like I didn't want them there. Okay.....i did my best, but ok. Now I have nothing. Zero communication, zero requests to spend time with baby, not that she made much of an effort there before, zero requests to talk, nothing. Im not allowed to ask my other family members about her, they're not allowed to talk to me about her. There's more to this, but I don't wanna go on forever...I'm just so hurt and angry and I don't know what to do. The worst is that she's going to let her grudge against me stop her from seeing her granddaughter.