So my boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. i’m 16 and he’s 18. he fantasizes over girls who are drop dead gorgeous and it makes me feel so ugly. before anyone recommends breaking up with him, i want to know HOW to be confident again. just breaking up with him won’t make my insecurities disappear. i would say i’m pretty thin but i’m constantly trying to overdo it. i used to consume only 400 calories- maybe 600 a day. i would take laxatives and throw up. i would binge eat then not eat for like 2 days. my boyfriend makes jokes about my eating habits and it hurts because he knows i’m insecure. every time i tell him i am, it spirals into a big argument. he recently wanted to know my celebrity crushes, so i told him. it was nothing crazy. he showed me his and i lost it. it’s like these girls have opposite features than me. they have huge boobs unlike I do (i just fit into a c cup and that’s only on a good say) they are thin and they have an hourglass, perfect skin, a small nose, perfect lips and even eyes. i don’t have any of those. he lied to me for months saying he didn’t find sarah cameron off of outer banks attractive, so i watched it with him because he used to like her. turns out she’s 3 on his list. i feel so betrayed and hurt and i wonder what went through his head every time he saw her on the screen when we watched it together. he likes this tiktok girl name olivia dunne who is very tiny and has a somewhat big butt and like i said, i have neither. for about 5 days i have completely lost my appetite and i’ve been crying myself to sleep. he doesn’t care. he doesn’t understand. he makes me feel so bad about myself.

just for reference this is his list in order

he said my list was hurtful bc they are skinny. he is skinny as well and losing weight is much easier than changing your facial structure.

anyways i feel like complete shit and can’t get over it.