How Can You Stay Friends With an Ex?

Hi All,

My ex and I broke up a few weeks ago. It was an amicable break up, we recognized that we weren’t putting ourselves first and decided it would be best if we broke up in order to pursue certain things we might’ve put on hold. We still talk, carpool to work (we work on the same block, not same company), and he still wants to celebrate my birthday with me which is this month.

It’s been really hard for me. In my past relationships I just stop talking to my exes completely. He usually remains cordial with his, not necessarily friends but he doesn’t cut them off.

I want to be his friend, I want to be a part of his life, I want to support him and be there for him as he achieves his dreams and does what he wants, but I don’t know how to do that as a friend. I don’t know how to just stop loving him. I want to cry every time I see him, I have the biggest lump in my throat. Sometimes conversation gets awkward because I don’t know how to just be, how to have a platonic distance between us. And I don’t understand how he can be okay with it, it angers me. I know it’s irrational, he’s also a private person and deals with his feeling differently than I do, but I can’t help but get annoyed or confused when it doesn’t seem like he misses me or wants me as much as I miss or want him.

I don’t know how to explain this to him without getting extremely upset, and I don’t want to create even more distance between us than there already is.

I guess I’m kind of looking for advice? (Even though I know I should probably distance myself from him and not talk to him for a bit, although I don’t want to do that). But I’m also just looking for a place to vent I guess. I’ve been kind of holding it all in and crying myself to sleep lmao.

Thank you for taking the time to read ✨