Anyone scared of history repeating itself?

Question

I had 3 kids with my ex husband. He was really abusive and left me and the kids when the twins were 2 and my oldest was 4. He ran off with a coworker. I'm remarried and my husband now adopted my kids and is desperately wanting a baby. He's got no biological kids so this is something he wants so bad. I love him and I know he's good but everything that happened terrifies me. How do I explain this to him? I told him I'm worried but he's hurt and doesn't understand.

Answer

I would be frank and honest with him, don't just say your scared, explain WHY you're scared. Help him to understand your point of view, what you went through and your feelings. Help him to show you how he can make you more comfortable with the idea of TTC. If he doesn't understand then he will get frustrated because he hasn't been through it and doesn't know why you feel the way you do. He needs to respect you as his wife, but equally if he's never given you any reason to think he would do what your ex did you need to start coming to terms with how he feels too. Relationships are two way streets, there is give and take. Put yourself in his shoes and try to find ways to bring the two of you closer together with a more mutual understanding of what you both want.

Answer

I believe that your fear is unfounded by what you said. If he has adopted yours and been there for them then he has proven he will be there for you and any future children (along with the existing ones) sounds like your ex was a big a'hole from the beginning and your new hubby is not ?

Anyone scared of history repeating itself?

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