Does this seem like a red flag

Question

I've been with my new boyfriend for a little over a month close to 2 months. We talked about sleeping together. I know that most people have sex and sleep together like in the 3 or 4th month of their relationship. My question is do you think its wrong that I bring it up to my mom and she says that we should talk about it but I mention to him what she says which is no at the moment but he texts me back this. Mind you we are both on disability because of our medical issues. And we both don't drive. So this is what he said back to me and this is not the first time. Why do you let them dictate your life. I feel like that's why you wanted to wait till 2024. Because you're worried about your parents. If you don't feel it in your heart. Then I don't know what to tell you. I'm not here to waste time. So we're either all in or not.  Then says this I haven't been wishy washy with you since I met you. And you keep second guessing or letting your parents run your life for you. And I think we know each other well enough to make decisions as a 28 almost 29 year old and a 31 year oldI don't know if I'm gonna continue if your parents are gonna run your life. Like I said I'm not gonna waste timeI feel like you are letting your parents run your life. And feel like they are sabotaging you since they see you're finally happy. They must've done this in your past relationships too. And I think they don't want you to get married because they won't even let us sleep together. So therefore if we were to get married it would be a big ordeal. It's really troubling for me. We both deserve to be happy. And this isn't making me happy right now. Sorry if that was harsh. I didn't mean for it to be. But here we are talking about being married. But we cant even spend the night together. When I gave up sex for lent anyway so nothing would be happening. And we're 31 and 28...its not like we are 15 or 16. By the way I tried to copy past it in order. What are your takes. Plus going back to the 2024 he's like ready to proposed to me in a year.

Answer

I would be extremely frustrated if my adult partner was talking to their parents and getting their permission to have sex. I agree with him. You’re an adult, act like it. I do think talking about marriage with a boyfriend of 1 month is WAY too fast.

Answer

Not a red flag. Why on earth do you want to speak to your mom about something that has nothing to do with her? It's not even that you're newly adult, you guys are like approaching middle age.

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I agree that it's weird for your parents to be making decisions for you at your age. I would be frustrated by it too. You can wait to have sex, that's fine, but it should be because you want to and not because someone else told you to.

Answer

Some things have to remain private when in a relationship. Whether it’s romantic or a friendship. Trust me you do not want your family in your business. Especially if it is pertaining to your sex lives. We know our bodies and there should be no time limit on when you feel ready to take the next step regardless of what society or traditions expect. My husband and I had sex after a month of dating, although we talked on the phone for 2 months prior to this but only one month of actual dates and he hadn’t even asked me out as his girlfriend yet but here we are 14 years later married with 2 kids and one on the way. Not to mention we were also high school sweet hearts and got pregnant right after the first time we had sex. So many factors were against us but we trusted our bodies and let go of time frames and others judgments. So don’t get hung up on that stuff if you love each other take the leap it’s better than not ever knowing if you guys would’ve made it or not. I wish you the best of luck and next time trust your instincts women are all born with it for a reason.

Answer

I don't see it as a red flag, just frustration. I never waited in any relationship for sex lol. Me and my man started hooking up before we made things official. But ofc you can do whatever you see fit. I do think it's a bit odd to talk to your mom about your sex life. It even seems you're seeking her permission or validation and that's why your BF is upset. I get it. Y'all are far grown enough to decide how to run your relationship without asking anyone else what they think.

Does this seem like a red flag

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