How soon after you have the baby are you allowing family to visit?

Question

I’m not very close with my mom and I’ve actually went no contact with her and my sister since being pregnant, but my husband wants his mom and his siblings to be able to come over immediately after I have the baby. He said it’s not fair to hold the baby hostage from his family. Like I’m not trying to hold the baby hostage, but I’ll be a first time mom and I’m not sure how I’ll feel after giving birth especially with me being high risk. I saw a post that said they were going to wait 4 weeks and I sent this to my husband a week ago and he was on board and now he’s saying they should be able to come over immediately and I got a bit irritated, because I feel like he’s going back on his word and he was catching an attitude but he said I was being combative about it. I honestly love his mom and I don’t mind her help at all. I’m a new mom and I don’t want to be overbearing, but I feel like if I want to wait a week before people come and be in our space that should be considered. We will have rules and ask people to wear masks and wash their hands before holding the baby. How long did you wait or are you going to wait to allow people to come over after you have the baby? Maybe I’m overthinking the entire situation.

Answer

I spoke about this with our pediatrician when we had our first. He said the first 6 weeks after birth the baby’s immune system is not developed well at all. So we only had immediate family visit during this time (and not frequently) and had them wash hands before holding baby (this was pre Covid so nobody wore masks yet). Also, absolutely no kissing of the baby was allowed. Also as a first time mom I was struggling to establish a routine, running on no sleep, recovering from birth, learning to breastfeed, pumping, trying to bond with baby, ect that anytime we had visitors it felt like my day got screwed. You’re not unreasonable to want some space. You gotta do what you feel comfortable with and what is best for your child and you. Baby and mama come first ❤️

Answer

The first time, I had my daughter and that’s exactly what my husbands family said I was keep the baby hostage. I didn’t want them kissing her on the face. They thought that was rude of me and pressured me and my husband. I was fairly young so I fell into it and after a week I went over to their house. I didn’t feel up to it, still bleeding , breasts engorged, they mentioned my weight, my face looking pale, the whole nine. My baby was passed around like a hot potato, ignored my requests to not kiss her face. It made me so angry. We decided to go home. 
With my son , we waited 6 weeks and no one was allowed to hold him and I’m very happy about that. 
Ultimately it is your baby, do not let anyone pressure u. Even your husband. F all of that. You are the mama. Wait until you are ready and comfortable and tbh not bleeding was a great time for me.

Answer

I wanted the first week by myself then after that family over to help cook/clean and make sure I am fed. Not just croon over kiddo. So if they want to visit they need to be helpful, IMO. Also, if you are high risk you have full rights to ask them to be masked and vaxxed. I required everyone to have their flu shots and TDap. My mom refused TDap so she didnt get to visit. Gotta take care of me and my own!!

Answer

I will let immediate family see them right away . Close friends as well .

Answer

We made the decision a while back that no one gets to see her in person till a week or so after she’s born. We want to be able to get settled at home and learn our own little routine as new parents before everyone bombards us. A few family members are not happy about it but it’s our kid not theirs so they don’t get a say. If we decide we want them over sooner then we will decide that when she’s here. I just feel like my wishes as far as them helping out instead of just coming for the baby and not kissing her face and all that will most likely not be taken seriously that’s why I want it to be a couple weeks.

Answer

Not even mentioning exposure of germs to the baby. Just going to tell you how I felt the first two weeks after my uncomplicated vaginally delivery of my first. I didn't sleep for 8 days I was literally hallucinating from lack of sleep those first two weeks. And i had help from my husband and my mom and i was still a wreck. The baby is CONSTANTLY and I mean C O N S T A N T L Y either eating pooping or sleeping those first weeks and it is such a difficult transition for your first child. Obviously everyone experiences things differently and every baby is different. 
I will say having my mom there was an absolute blessing, and I couldn't have done it without her. Having a knowledgeable helpful person around to cook, clean, and reassure you of things you're going to freak out about as a new mother is an invaluable asset and gift. If you are close with your MIL maybe asking her to stay with you guys to HELP for the first two weeks would be nice. Let her feel like a grandma and help you and your husband transition into parents of a newborn. 
Best of luck to you. Whatever you decide you're going to have a great time and be sooooo happy. The first two weeks are so hard but after that it's bliss!

Answer

I can totally understand why your husband wants his family to meet the baby right away. When I say right away it doesn’t need to be the first few days. See how you feel. You’re also mom - you get to set some ground rules. Have your husband send a text or call family saying that no kissing the baby and everyone must wash hands. Reiterate that even if anyone is feeling slightly under the weather not to come. I feel like with Covid still be pretty prevalent they will understand. As far as having others hold the baby if I felt uncomfortable I would just feed my babies. You got this! You set the rules and go with what makes you comfortable.

Answer

This will be my second “Covid baby” my first was born the week the nation shut down. We had no visitors, no dinners, no help and I didn’t like it at all. I don’t want everyone here at one time or people constantly in and out but I will be welcoming visitors this time. My entire family knows and will keep their distance if they are not feeling well, they still respect that rule with my toddler so I trust them.

Answer

My in laws and parents met my daughter at the hospital, and my parents stayed at our house for a few days after she was born. And my in laws visited a few times over the next few weeks. She was born 2 weeks before Christmas. And our best friends visited once. This time my parents will be staying at our house with our daughter until we get home from the hospital, I don’t know what our hospitals visitor policy is currently or what it will be in august but no one will probably meet him at the hospital, unless my daughter is allowed to, but my parents and in-laws will meet him when we get home from the hospital. My parents will have to leave because we no longer have a spare room for them to stay in but I’m sure at least my mom and my in-laws will visit a few times over the first few weeks, hopefully keeping my daughter entertained.

Answer

With my first my mom came over that night and so did my best friend.  Then throughout the week his parents did, siblings, grandparents, and my close aunt, uncle, and cousin.  This time I’ll have the same people over that weekend more than likely as well.  I am having a c-section so I know when we will be having baby unless they come early.  I’ll have everyone wash their hands, but that’s it.  We also do not allow kissing baby either.

How soon after you have the baby are you allowing family to visit?

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