Just need to vent

I am a military spouse so that means my husbands gone a lot. For the past year he’s been gone every day except weekends and the year before that he was deployed. So here I am with four kids by myself working full-time. I always saw myself as an independent woman and most of the time I rock at it. But on days like today when everything goes wrong and the kids are crying and the house is dirty. I just feel so defeated and I feel like such a bad mom. I am trying my best and my kids are my priority and people on the outside see how amazing things are, but they don’t see you that I cry myself to sleep almost every night worrying that I’m not doing enough. Maybe I’m not the super mom. Don’t get me wrong my kids are well fed, are always clean, I give them all the attention and time they need, overall they are very happy kids. But having happy kids and not having a single minute to myself it’s killing me. My husband does help a lot when he’s here and I know it’s a choice we made to form part of the military but sometimes it’s OK to vent a little and just get things off your chest. OK so I guess now I feel a little better have an amazing day.