Do people judge you based on

Do people you know judge you, based on someone else's lifestyle?

Example: My ex is in jail. Again. He's been a dirt bag the whole time I've known him (about 8 years). We have a child.

I was talking to my mom and briefly wanted to tell her went to jail but that brings on comments like "You chose him" "We knew this about him" and on. Please tell me how in the eff is it my fault that he has chosen to be a POS?! Yeah, I chose to keep my child, for ME, not him. He's never been around. I didn't know exactly what was going on until it was far too late and I finally had a breakthrough. Why do we do this to people? We blame them for not being psychic or super sleuths. We don't blame the liar for lying, we blame the woman who didn't catch him cheating sooner. We don't blame the addict, we blame the person who'd never known a Coke addict in her life and didn't know the signs (stupid me). I feel like this is a huge key to how we allow manipulative people to continue their BS. Just something I wonder about!