Heartbroken about abortion

Hello, this might be long but I just needed to get this off my chest. I have no one in my life who could possibly understand what I’m going through so I’m hoping to find support here. I have a 6yo son and a 1yo daughter. Before my daughter I was pregnant and had an abortion and the process was smooth but mentally and emotionally it was horrifying and I couldn’t get the image out of my head and I felt so guilty and I never wanted to do it again. After my daughter my husband and I decided we didn’t want anymore kids. We have taken all kinds of precautions to avoid this. He’s on a waiting list for a vasectomy but until then we’ve taken the normal precautions. Earlier this week I found out I am 6 weeks pregnant. I adore babies and kids and in a perfect world I would love to keep this one. But I feel like with everything bad going on in the world I would hate to bring a baby into it. And on top of that my husband thinks we shouldn’t keep it. My heart is broken knowing what I’m going to do. And for the past week I’ve been an emotional wreck. I’m so terrified of doing this again. I know I’m going to spiral downward if I go through with this. He thinks I should do it and I think it’s for the best but if he said he wanted it I’d keep it in a heartbeat. He doesn’t understand what I’m going through. I just don’t feel like a man could understand the connection I have to this baby and the need and desire to protect it and love it and knowing what I’m about to do kills me. He says he’s here for me and he’s trying to be supportive but I feel so alone. My appointment is tomorrow. I haven’t been able to sleep all week and tonight is especially bad. I’m so tired and depressed. I just need someone to understand. I don’t want to feel alone in this