Do you let your 2 year old cry or throw a tantrum if you have given them everything they could possible need or want including your attention and nothing makes them feel better?

K • Mon, Apr 18

Please comment what you do if have any advice.

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Question

Please comment what you do if have any advice.

Answer

Children have big emotions and don’t know how to handle it. It’s ok for my kid to be upset or angry or frustrated. It’s my job to teach him how to handle it. So if he is having a tantrum (not a meltdown) I sit quietly and wait. I talk quietly and explain why I said no. I say things like “I know that’s frustrating. Let’s take a deep breath and try to calm down so we can talk”. We practice calm down skills all throughout our day so when we’re in that moment, he knows how to do it. Don’t try to teach it on the moment!

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My daughter was the worst! I finally started standing her in front of a big mirror in my room to let her watch herself act a fool. She’d quickly get it together & come hug me.

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I support my child's emotions. A toddler doesn't understand a lot and so trying to get down to my kid's level for every tantrum is pretty important so they know I'm there with them and we can work through it together. Of course by the end of the day I get tired and have less patience. If you want a resource I recommend BigLittleFeelings and MommaCusses on Instagram.

Answer

It's a difficult situation....when it gets to "that" point. 
Once all other avenues have been exhausted and every single tip and trick has been performed and failed then yes, I will leave them be and let them just get it out. I will usually walk out of the room, but be close by and be listening in case they need me. They know that they can come get me or call and I will come in. 
It's tough but it's usually exactly what the doctor ordered. They act out and feel their emotions for a few min and then come back to earth so to speak.

Answer

You should say yes whenever possible. Pick your battles. It's better to be too lenient than say no and let them change it to a yes or maybe. Once youve decided on a limit or a no, you must stick to it. If the tantrum 'works' in that you give in, give them other stuff,give extra attention etc, they will do it more often. So what I did was say statements of validation/empathy/being heard....example: 'yes, you really really wanted ice cream for breakfast, and youre so disappointed that momma said we need to eat our eggs. Thats so frustrating!' and otherwise go about your business/ignore.

Answer

Tantrums are actually developmentally healthy for kids! I allow my son to feel his feelings, to an extent! I’m not perfect, so there are definitely days I can’t put up with it because it can be so hard. But I remind myself he’s still figuring out his emotions and boundaries.. and I always want him to know I’m here for him when he’s frustrated. Depending on the tantrum I usually walk away/sit it out until he calms down and sometimes I give him a hug if he needs it.

Answer

Sometimes they just need to get the frustration out. They don’t know what to do with those feelings so they boil over. What you do between the tantrums and meltdowns is more important. Talk to them about the feelings and what to do if they feel that. Model the behavior you want them to have. So ignoring the behavior and letting them getting it out of their system is probably the best for the time being. As they become more capable of expressing with words, then this will quickly shift to them trying to manipulate. So better be supportive and be firm now so you will alleviate the chance for the power struggle that is to come.

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I just let her throw her tantrum, she usually stops fast and we carry on. Sometimes you just need to freak out and turn you're good.

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I try to always comfort, explain, do calm down tactics and sometimes it just doesn’t work so I’ll say “ok mommy is going to go sit down on the couch why don’t you come sit with me” and most of the time she will and she’ll just want to be held. If I try and hug or hold her prior to that she won’t want it.

Do you let your 2 year old cry or throw a tantrum if you have given them everything they could possible need or want including your attention and nothing makes them feel better?

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